my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
