'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Randomize
