Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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