didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
