Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
