Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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