Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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