i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
