hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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