SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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