So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
