whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
