my sisters under your porch take her home
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm passing your future prison.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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