is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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