we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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