I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She announced her abortion via fbk
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
