I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
