Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
