He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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