sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
