i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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