her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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