i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
