You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
