it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
