There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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