I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just invented taco cereal.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
