Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
