Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
