So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
