Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
