i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
