just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
