She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
