babies were throwing up all over the place
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
