I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm having to shit out rocks
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