He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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