im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
