So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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