God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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