some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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