she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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