I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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