im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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