We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just gargled with NyQuil
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
