Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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