Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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