i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
