So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
