do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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